I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Of course I have a pirate flag
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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