i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
