She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
