Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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