He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
