it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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