dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Damn victory sex feels great
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