My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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