SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
two words: eviction party
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
