I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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