He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
