We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
