We got so high we made milksteak
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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