legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
