white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's official drugs can't kill me
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
