Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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