I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
