i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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