Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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