it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
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