Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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