Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
