it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize