I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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