Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
