You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
