I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
