Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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