ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
