Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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