fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
