I am spending my child support on dildos
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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