well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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