"it" just moved
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
