I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
my being single is dangerous.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
