Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
