i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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