my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
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I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
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He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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