I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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