You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
