We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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