We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
