every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize