If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just want to make out with him forever
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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