So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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