I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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