Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
