you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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