Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
