Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
