things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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