Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
