Will you blow on my dice?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
