can u get pink eye on your cock?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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