when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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