8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
