My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just google imaged poop.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
