I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
