I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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