Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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