Sponge bath it is.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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