he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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