your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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