so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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